Grief & Serenity

Allowing Self to Grieve and Process Feelings to Alleviate Suffering

Grieving is an important process to release fearful or sad thoughts, a perception of loss, or lack of hope. It is a natural response that all humans experience at some time in their lives. Unresolved grief can result in tremendous suffering for the individual. There are ways of clearing or processing grief in a healthy and safe manner, fostering resilience, despite the emotional or physical trauma experienced. Grief is not a mental illness, but unresolved grief can lead to severe anxiety and depression, a paralysis or impairment in important decision-making capabilities, or ability to cope with life changes. There is no singular right way to grieve, and it is not something that can be forced. What is important is to provide the emotional space for grief when it arises.

"So it's true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love."
-E.A. Bucchianeri

Cancer support groups, licensed therapists, and mind-body practices, like clinical hypnosis or guided imagery can help in this process. Journaling, dance, or art therapy are creative ways to process these intense emotions. Meditation practices can also help, along with other contemplative and reflective activities. Sharing your feelings of grief can also be helpful. Let your healthcare provider know you are struggling.

Serenity

Think about serenity as putting energy into what you can change and letting go of what you can't. Hard times are often about things beyond our control. In hard times, remember what matters most to you. This can help you focus on meaningful things that are under your control. Some people focus on compassion for self and others. For instance, if it's important to you to speak up for fairness, you can do that. Or, you may feel a desire to 'give back' in some way. Put your energy into what matters most to you for the kind of person you want to be.

Acceptance can be challenging. Some behaviors you can change, other experiences are out of your control. Emotions and relationships can complicate these challenges. You can't change how another person behaves, and it is hard to change thoughts and feelings that upset you.

The key idea of serenity is to accept.

Acceptance…

• Does not mean "like," or "be happy about."
• Does not mean "avoid" or "sweep under the rug."
• Means to see pain for what it is but still live a good life by your values.